This one appears to be a struggle between the simple life and the extraordinary life. Clearly, I’ve never wanted anything to be simple and so, I’ve always resisted this notion.  This, by the way, happens to push away anyone who tries to convince you otherwise. Creativity takes a lot of time and there are those who will never understand this. They will want you to give up on your dreams and be just like them because they know, for a fact, that dreams don’t come true. However, if you live long enough, you will see that you have moved on and that you are always moving to a better place!

I wonder if I’ll ever do anything but this

I’m no better than this

I stand around in a wasteful world

Looking down at its lack of

Ambition

While it laughs at mine

And it all seems okay, sometimes

In the depths of this

Wasteland

And I don’t have time to figure out why

It’s the same – everyday

It’s paycheck to paycheck

But I need more. . .

So, I swim to the surface with

Weights on my neck

Dragging me down

But I can’t tell if I’m going any higher

Or merely prolonging my decent

I wonder if anyone makes it out!

Maybe they all know

Something I don’t

That’s how they fun

At the bottom of this mess

Drowned by their lack of success

Are they all waiting for me?

Watching me struggle in vain?

Sometimes I think

They are dragging me down

With their vibrant personalities

Beauty and pride

They make it look so easy

Being a nobody

As if anyone is better than this!

And they are the reason that I tolerate this

Depth at all

They make me laugh

And throw lots of parties

At the bottom of this mess

Sending invitations

Attached to each one – is another weight

That I graciously accept because

I have to pretend that

I’m okay down here when

I haven’t stopped struggling yet!

I work too hard to get to the bottom last

Even if that’s my destination

I think I’ll die  before I get there

Don’t expect me to settle

Unless I’ve become a corpse

Falling lifelessly

Down. . . down. . . down. . .

Writings About Water/Fire

There’s a reason it permeates your subconscious and you should always listen:

I’ve never been afraid of water

Even when I pushed my limits

By going too long without air

Until my chest experienced

Brief pain and panic

I always surfaced – unaffected

In my dreams,

I hang out underwater all the time

I can swim to the ocean floor

No person can follow me

Sometimes I find one frolicking on the surface

And I save them from the panic

I lift them and take them to shore

Last night, however,

I found myself choking on some waves

What does that mean?

-ConStancE MaE

Finding comfort in your skills is never an easy thing.  All creativity chokes us up a little. . .

______________________________________

This one is obvious. No matter what, don’t let anything stop you from doing what you need to do.  Let it burn if it tries. You will rise from the ashes!

My dream last night

Shifted from water to fire

Little patches of fire

I was packed and ready to

Leave my home

But I was forced to remain

Little patches of fire

Threatened

To burn it down

I’d put one out

Get ready to go and another

Would come about

And laugh in my face

They wouldn’t go away!

But after a while

I left

Anyway

-ConStancE MaE