Category Archives: Coyote’s Digest

Setting The Standard

Poem From Book: Coyote’s Digest

by ConStancE MaE:

I just want to set an example
Let her know what it’s like
For real
She’s so young right now
But I can see her all grown up
Already
She’s almost as big as me
She’s not even “mini-me” anymore!
So, I defended myself
With everyone watching
He deserved it!
No one was mad at me but him
I told her to stay away from him
When we were alone outside
She asked, “Who? The one you hit?”
I said, “Yeah.”
What else did this random, old, drunk fool
Expect me to do?
Let my kid watch me be harassed?
I don’t think so!
I might’ve been able to keep
The peace if she wasn’t there
Watching me
I grew up with people like this
They act like I haven’t been through this
A million times before
But now, I have an example to set
I don’t care who you are
I’m done being nice
So, she’ll never be
As sweet as me
I guarantee it!

Ambition – “So, I swim to the surface with Weights on my neck Dragging me down”

This one appears to be a struggle between the simple life and the extraordinary life. Clearly, I’ve never wanted anything to be simple and so, I’ve always resisted this notion.  This, by the way, happens to push away anyone who tries to convince you otherwise. Creativity takes a lot of time and those who live simply will never understand this. They will want you to give up on your dreams and be just like them because they know for a fact that dreams don’t come true. However, if you live long enough, you will see that you have moved on and that you are always moving to a better place!

I wonder if I’ll ever do anything but this
I’m no better than this
I stand around in a wasteful world
Looking down at its lack of
Ambition
While it laughs at mine
And it all seems okay, sometimes
In the depths of this
Wasteland
And I don’t have time to figure out why
It’s the same – everyday
It’s paycheck to paycheck
But I need more. . .
So, I swim to the surface with
Weights on my neck
Dragging me down
And I can’t tell if I’m going any higher
Or merely prolonging my decent
I wonder if anyone makes it out!
Maybe they all know
Something I don’t
While they all have fun down there
At the bottom of this mess
Drowned by their lack of success
Are they all waiting for me?
Watching me struggle in vain?
Sometimes I think
They are dragging me down
With their vibrant personalities
Beauty and pride
They make it look easy
Being a nobody
As if anyone is better than this!
And they are the reason that I tolerate this
Depth at all
They make me laugh
And throw lots of parties
At the bottom of this mess
Sending invitations
Attached to each one – is another weight
That I graciously accept because
I have to pretend that
I’m okay down here when
I haven’t stopped struggling yet!
I work too hard to get to the bottom last
Even if that’s my destination
I think I’ll die  before I get there
Don’t expect me to settle
Unless I’ve become a corpse
Falling lifelessly
Down. . . down. . . down. . .

Water & Fire – “I hang out underwater all the time – I can swim to the ocean floor”

Writings About Water/Fire

When I dream about the elements, I try to pay attention. There’s a reason it permeates your subconscious and you should always listen to her:

I’ve never been afraid of water
Even when I pushed my limits
By going too long without air
Until my chest experienced
Brief pain and panic
I always returned – unaffected
In my dreams
I hang out underwater all the time
I can swim to the ocean floor
No person can follow me
Sometimes I find one frolicking on the surface
And I save them from the panic
I lift them and take them to shore
Last night, however,
I found myself choking on some waves
What does that mean?
-ConStancE MaE

Finding comfort in your skills is never an easy thing.  All creativity chokes us up a little. Also, help those who just dive in. It didn’t come easy for you either! There’s room for everyone. You’re not the only one who fills this space.

______________________________________

This one is obvious. No matter what, don’t let anything stop you from doing what you need to do.  Let it burn if it tries. You will rise from the ashes!

My dream last night
Shifted from water to fire
Little patches of fire
I was packed and ready to
Leave my home
But I was forced to remain
Little patches of fire
Threatened
To burn it down
I’d put one out
Get ready to go and another
Would come about
And laugh in my face
They would go away
But after a while
I left
Anyway
-ConStancE MaE